The DREADED 2's....MELTDOWN!

[Darla - The Preschool Toolbox]

How many of you have experienced...MELTDOWNS?  Most of the time, meltdowns occur when the expectations of parent/child do not meet OR the child is offered TOO many choices through negotiations.  Young children try hard to "order" their world as they gain independence; it can be overwhelming for both parent and child!  In what situations have YOU experienced meltdowns with your own child and how have you successfully handled it?  

[Michelle Hutchison]

Past that stage thank goodness, but I remember that sometimes the best way to diffuse a meltdown was to acknowledge the want e.g. you really wanted to stay at the park and it is not fair we have to come home. Sometimes just knowing someone understands helps to diffuse the situation. It is also good to accept that sometimes meltdowns just happen and that's okay :)

[Autumn Byars]

Happens to me at the grocery store- where they think they have choices because of marketing. I just have to be firm- not give in just because  everyone is staring at us. My reaction is what will set the stage for any future requests of candy at the check out. If we pull ourselves together and make it out of the store without a complete meltdown, then praise and hugs are an excellent reward. I also find distractions help occasionally- before the "want" gets too intense. Maybe point out some of the other groceries we picked out for dinner- "ooh what's this called?" "what color are the bananas?" and at times I have allowed them to help check- out by passing groceries to the cashier or scanning things at the self check.

Other times we have had to just leave the store and sit in the car until everyone regains composure or come back another day. Hard to do when you really need the groceries...but very important to make a decision and stick with it.

[Darla - The Preschool Toolbox]

Michelle and Autumn - good reminders.  The grocery store is a nightmare with choices.  We, too, had to be firm and set "limits" before even going into the store:  "you may choose one cereal that you wish and one snack, but we are here for groceries and NOT toys.:)  I've left with children in a football hold before, too:)  Learning and growing....to make good decisions!  Thank you both for your comments!

[Gary Miller Jr.]

We've had all kinds of problems when leaving the playground. The normal wisdom which no doubt works with some is to use the countdown approach providing gradual updates so that the departure is not a shock. We've had mild success with this method but the more exciting the playground we're visiting the more this method gets chewed into bits by our darling little girl. 

We've adopted a transition approach linked with simple rewards. For example, we'll start engaging her with an activity that guides her physically to the exit of the playground. We'll build a path with rocks or do a counting/jumping game all the way to the car with the incentive of, "Once we get there you can have a snack." Framing that in a question with a choice has been helpful for us. "When we get to the car do you want a squeeze or an apple?" Nine times out of ten she'll pick one of the options and we've just freed ourselves of a melt down, had some fun, and hopefully get a healthy snack as well!

Another issue we've found in fun activities like the park relates to time. This of course doesn't really work for the mandatory errand type of things like going to the store. Most of our meltdowns at the park have occurred because we were trying to leave too soon. We were trying to box some play time into a tight schedule and that just wasn't working for our kiddo. Our magic number is about an hour. If she gets a full blown hour of fully engaged playtime at the park, pool, whatever, our incidents of meltdown dramatically decrease. I know in our case we've learned the hard way that our daughters meltdowns haven't been so much her issue, but instead our issue in bad scheduling and rushing. 

Oh and then there's the obvious theory that remains true... Sometimes 2 year olds just meltdown and there's little we can do to stop it. In that case we suck it up, hold on to our hats, and ride it out. The good news is kids recover super fast and a few minutes later act like nothing ever happened. Oh that we adults could learn to recover just as fast!

[Darla - The Preschool Toolbox]

Gary - great tips!  Thank you so much for sharing! I agree that if ONLY ADULTS....:)

[Nick Macaluso]

As the father of three I have been there! Many times. The times I have handled myself best seemed to match up with when I was taking care of myself. Living a healthy lifestyle provided a perspective that enabled me to handle the situation well, through many different methods each time. I don't think there was any one magic ingredient besides having the mental and emotional stability required to deal with the MELTDOWN. I really like the discussion post because all too often it is the expectations of the parent. My expectations seem more realistic when I'm taking care of myself.

[Darla - The Preschool Toolbox]

Nick - sorry I missed your reply!  You are SO RIGHT about parents taking care of themselves.  My "trigger" is lack of sleep which always equals lack of patience:).  When I'm well rested, I can handle all situations better.  Thanks for the great reminder!